He Had it Coming

Brunhilda here:
Since last I wrote we've been busy. We have new buyers who really love Chicago. They're terrific. There has been an uptick in showing requests for our listings, which is nice. Its the 4th quarter of 2009 and it hasn't been a great year. But hope for a good finish is growing.
Meanwhile, back at the cursed listing in the River North neighborhood I keep talking about. We've got a showing request. The agent requesting is a fast talking guy. He's coming in the middle of a busy Saturday afternoon. For once we are thrilled to find the tenants have vacated for the day. When the agent arrives, we are struck by an overwhelming scent of nasty big cigar. Let me paint the picture. He swaggers in with a half-smoked but unlit cigar in hand. The only thing missing in this picture is a big black cape a mustache and a large black fedora. He's alone. He's representing himself as a buyer. Randee greets him with her usual sunny smile.
Have you ever noticed how men with big cigars also seem to have giant personalities? Not the good kind. Well, this guy fits the bill. He walks through the condo like a cop at a crime scene. It goes something like this: "Man look at that kitchen, there's some mess, and how about the floors in this joint! Well that bathroom will need a buzz-saw. The master bedroom, was that done in the 80's? I thought this was built in the 90's. Geez, babe, this is a real gut job." Now, Randee knows this place needs work, so she isn't fazed by his vibrato. But I find him quite grating! He continues; "Its too bad, honey, cuz this building's real nice and the location is a dream. Tell you what, I'm gonna make an offer, take this dog off your hands". He then names a number that is $100,000 under the asking price. He says, "I got to get my guys in here to gut the whole place. It's gonna cost me a fortune." He rubs the cigar between his fingers and points it at Randee. She stays pretty cool and tells Mr. Stinky Big Cigar Jerk to put his offer in writing. His answer; "Ya know doll, I will do that right after you call the seller with my verbal offer". Now the unlit cigar is hanging out of his mouth as he plasters a big crooked smile on his face. Randee asks, "What company are you with again?" He answers with his own name. Hmmmm, is he even for real, she wonders? She nicely replies that she will not call her owners with an offer that isn't in writing. She even quotes her managing broker, "A verbal offer isn't worth the paper it isn't written on". She again, says, "If you're serious about your offer, please put it in writing."
This schmo takes a bold step towards Randee with his unlit cigar pointing at her. He says," Now listen doll face, I have saved agents with crappy properties more times than you have sneezed."

Well, that was it for me! Mr. Stinky Big Cigar Jerk! Somehow that cigar just ended up getting pushed down his chunky little throat.

After disposing of the mess, we locked up and headed out to do another showing in the Streeterville neighborhood. On the way, we pass the most adorable little puppy. Don't cute little puppies just make you smile!

Brunhilda signing off for today. Don't tell little Randee, she just couldn't take it.