Brunhilda Likes to Play With Dolls

Brunhilda here:
I have an extremely low tolerance for liars, manipulators and time wasters. That is why I am writing again about the River North condo. You know the one, dear reader. It's listed for sale and has the difficult tenants that I've written about before.The good news: the tenants packed up and moved out! Before they left, they became pretty nice about leaving the condo during showings. Even the little bugger was better behaved. I decided that they had learned their lesson about showing etiquette. I'm such a helpful alter-ego!

Now, however I have issues with the River North condo owner. Mr. and Mrs. Owner live out of state. They've told us that the recession has cost them their jobs, and they are working in lesser paying ones. I feel for them, really, I have feelings! Mr. Owner has been lowered to selling cars. Fabulous, another industry that is in the toilet.

An amazing thing just happened. We got a great offer on the place. They came in just $5000 under our asking price. That's pretty great when you consider that the place needs some pretty hefty updating. What with the 1980's mirrored wall in the dining room, the kitchen cabinets that have some peeling veneer, the hardwood floors need refinishing and the entire place just needs a whole lot of paint. Those were rough tenants!

To our utter shock, the owner was troubled with the offer. It's a cash deal! They want to close in 4 weeks! We can negotiate the price a bit, but this is a terrific offer, we tell him. He said he needs them to come up in price. OK we say, let's counter his offer to get him closer to our asking price. He responds by saying he needs the offer to be OVER THE ASKING PRICE! When was he going to tell Randee that little bit of news? Can't sell it for the asking price? He doesn't have the money to go to closing? Is Anthrax through the mail still a crime?

I have this wonderful little doll. It has some amazing abilities. It seems that if I stick my long sharp pins into it here or give the limbs a twist there while I focus my anger very clearly, there will be an interesting affect on the object of my anger. 

Mr. Owner says he has to think about it a bit. Right now though, he needs to go lay down. He suddenly has a terrible headache or eye ache or something. He will call back later. Randee asks him to discuss the offer with Mrs. Owner and call back within the hour. "I will", he says, "but I just have to go now. My right arm is killing me too!"

This is Brunhilda signing off for now. But this isn't over! And do I need to say....don't tell Randee about my little doll. She ain't no Barbie!